Sunday, July 5, 2009

Lake Wobegon Woes




Garrison Keillor once said, “Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.” On July 4th, 2009, people from all over the country attempted to escape vanity, greed, and the current economic crisis by traveling to Avon, MN, for Keillor’s 35th anniversary broadcast of the Prairie Home Companion, and perhaps to experience the friendly an small town life that Keillor’s broadcast often depicts. On that day, in an effort to embody the “campfires of gentle people,” I, Adam Spanier, along with my friend Cole Schiffler, decided to welcome these people with a cold glass of lemonade and a friendly hello. Unfortunately, as I learned on that beautiful day, a few of Avon’s organizers do not embrace the generosity we intended to share with our visitors, and within a couple hours, Cole and I were banned from handing out free lemonade on the public property where Keillor’s show was broadcasted.

First of all, in order to explain my motives more clearly, I will let you know a little about myself. I am a former Albany High School grad, National Honor Society President, President of Minnesota’s State student council organization, two-time Central Division Student Council executive board member, and a founder of the St. Benedicts Youth Group. I donate my time as an Avon Little League Umpire on Tuesday nights, and just last year Albany Superintendent Dr. Thielman recognized me as a “Hometown Hero”. I see myself as an ambassador to the area and decided to give back to my community by handing out free lemonade during the Garrison Keillor broadcast. After all, what would make a better impression on the thousands of visitors than a free, cold glass of lemonade and a cheerful, “How are you doing today?” Unfortunately, a few people were dissatisfied with our acts of kindness, eventually using intimidation and threats to remove us from the premise, thus preventing Cole and I from giving you, our neighbor and friend, a cold glass of lemonade.

I will now raise an important question: what is wrong with handing out free lemonade to children and the elderly in an effort to make people happy? Apparently, a few people had a problem with this. After helping an older man carry some boxes from his car, helping him set up his “Dahlin’s Supermarket” stand, and then helping the Avon Women of Today set up their popcorn machine, Cole and I proceeded to hand out our fresh lemonade. We were having a great time keeping people happy and even posing for a few pictures with Garrison Keillor’s self-proclaimed “biggest fan” (an elderly woman from Avon, Connecticut), and posing for pictures with members of the Prairie Home Companion. However, it didn’t take long for a woman named Shelly Pierson to approach Cole and I, telling us that we must leave the premise and hand out our lemonade somewhere else. We thought she was joking and offered her a glass of lemonade, but to our surprise, she was working under the command of Cindy McGaughey, one of the women in charge of booking vendors for the event.

In an effort to scare us off of the property, Cindy and Shelly used multiple arguments—all of which contained logical fallacies—to support their case. In return, I provided reasonable rebutles to their concerns, of which I will now reiterate. First of all, they told us that we were physically blocking other vendors, to which we courteously responded by moving to a spot next to the bathrooms. They then said it was unfair to other vendors that we were on the grass, despite the fact that a couple other vendors were also on the grass. Both of the aforementioned arguments were also illogical due to one main reason: Cole and I are not considered “Vendors.” We are just a couple of teenagers handing out lemonade, we’re not selling a product or a service, therefore, we are not vendors and do not need a permit to hand out free lemonade. They then told us that we do not have permission to be on Lake Wobegon Trail, which is another false argument, considering that we had received permission from the Avon Police Officers to be on location, and the police officers assured us that we were doing nothing wrong. Cole and I were initially asking for donations to compensate for the costs of lemonade, cups, and the wood used to build the stand, but after Cindy and Shelly expressed dissatisfaction with our free lemonade, we told them that we would give all donations to the Avon Women of Today; unfortunately, they were already determined to kick us out.

Knowing our rights, we refused to leave the premise and continued to hand out free lemonade. We attempted to state our rights to Cindy McGaughey and Shelly Pierson, but they were intent on removing us from the location, instead calling upon Ray Schmitt, head of Avon City Maintenance as backup. After they stated that it was unfair to the vendors that we were handing out free lemonade, we acknowledged that our generosity encouraged competition among the vendors and we were doing nothing wrong (We later noted the irony that capitalism and Adam Smith’s finest economic principals were being condemned on the Fourth of July… But don’t worry; we doubt that these anti-capitalistic ideals are present in all City of Avon employees). In a last-ditch effort, we asked Ray exactly what we were doing wrong, to which he responded, “Nothing.” Then, with a pointed finger and an intimidating tone, Ray told us something along the lines of, “You have 15 minutes to get your lemonade out of here or I will come back and get it out for you.” Alas, we packed up our lemonade in dissatisfaction and left the premise.

As a born and raised member of the Avon Community who now attends college in Minneapolis, I relish the moments when I come back to this small-town atmosphere and the abundance of kindness present in the air. Unfortunately, as demonstrated on July 4, a few people no longer appreciate these very things that make Avon so great. Plain and simple, we got kicked out of the Lake Wobegon Trail Park for handing out free lemonade. On a day intended to celebrate our freedom, our community, and our small-town kindness, a few people diminished it to a day of powertrips and profits. As a result of our generosity and kindness, a few people unjustly, and unlawfully kicked us out of a public park for handing out free lemonade. They used intimidation, threats, and their so called “authority” to prevent us from handing out free lemonade. They did not have the right to threaten and kick a couple teenagers off of public property for doing absolutely nothing wrong, and frankly, I am ashamed and disgusted by their power-hungry actions.

In conclusion, this is a message to my community in hard times and economic troubles: please do not lose the very things that make this community so great, as a few others have done over the weekend; please, learn from their mistakes. Continue to be kind, generous, and “above average”. Do not sacrifice those characteristics for greed, selfishness, and power. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade… and then give some to your neighbor.

-Adam Spanier